The Freedom of No: Crafting a Life Aligned to Your Values

Episode Overview

Welcome back to another solo episode of Well & Worthy Life podcast! Today we’re discovering the liberation found in the art of saying no. Over the years, I have learned the power and freedom of no so I could say yes to everything else that was important to me.

In a world often characterized by constant demands and obligations, our ability to confidently say no becomes a key catalyst to a life harmonized with our deepest values. Join me as we explore practical insights, share stories, and provide actionable strategies to help you navigate the delicate balance between saying no and aligning with your authentic self.


Questions Answered

  • What can be found in the freedom of no and how does it impact the way we live?
  • What to do when our mental health is suffering because of the choices we are making?
  • Instead of cutting out sugar altogether, learn what Deanna does to get her sweet fix over the holidays without overindulging.

Action Items

  • Keep your eyes open for a digital detox I’m putting together for anyone who wants to join
  • Look at your calendar over the next few weeks and look for places where you can say no.
  • Join the Revive Now Membership – Enrollment is open anytime!
  • Get access to my FREE podcast series, Reset to Energize

Key Moments in the Conversation

[1:16] Sometimes we have to say no to something so we can say yes to our mental health.

[1:59] It was becoming too much pressure on me and I am trying to protect my lifestyle.

[7:49] I want you to look at your calendar in the next couple of weeks and look at the things that maybe you could say no to.

[9:59] I think our mental health starts with our mindset. And then that follows through to our physical health.

[16:24] When we are done with our digital detox, we’ll get back on another Zoom and talk about how it felt. What we were able to do. How it cleared our mind, and how it set us up for success for the new year.

Hello. I hope you all had a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving. I’m actually recording this before Thanksgiving, but this will not go out until after Thanksgiving. I’m sure we’re going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving because I’m going to have all my family with me and I’m super excited about that.

But I wanted to talk to you today about when we have to say no so that we can say yes. I just had to practice this last week, the week before Thanksgiving or the week of Thanksgiving, I was supposed to have a podcast episode out for you guys. And time got away and I was feeling so much anxiety and so much pressure to get it done.

And to be honest with you, it just was just too much. And I was putting myself and my podcast editor under the gun and I decided to call it. I’ve decided that we didn’t need to do it. You know, sometimes we have to say no to something even if we’ve really committed to something so that we can say yes to other things and for our mental health because I think that is very important as well.

So, you know, I had thought that doing a podcast, going back to having a podcast every single week would be really great and really fun and should be easy because I would do a lot more just solo episodes. Well, it’s not. It’s not, you know, there’s only so many hours in each day. And so we’re going to go back to doing the episodes every other week.

You know, it’s just too much to do them every week. Too much pressure on me and I am trying to protect my lifestyle. I really try to practice what I preach. so let’s talk about when do you need to say no, the first thing that comes to mind, obviously, it’s just like me with the podcast.

It’s when we become overwhelmed. And there’s just too much to do. I had somebody had. I had put this question on Instagram and somebody else had said that they had to quit volunteering so much Because they just felt like they were over committed and there just wasn’t enough time And you know, sometimes we do that we over commit But we need to check ourselves and see Why?

Why are we over committing? Is it some kind of need that we need to show the world that we’re superwoman or something? I just think we need to slow down and I’ve been got getting that message more and more lately that Breathe slow down. We try to do so much and listen. I am the number one I’m a very creative person who tries to do so much because I have so many different ideas.

I love coaching women. So, and I try to think of different ways to help everyone. So I’m always coming up with new things there. Plus the fact that I want to spend time with my granddaughter. Plus the fact that I’m really focusing on working with my family. Working on my friendships so, and plus the fact that I’m trying to read the Bible through just so many things that I want to do, right?

And so if I want to do those, I have to set my priorities so that I can do the things that are going to fulfill me the most. I had something else come up recently that I had to say no to. And it was a pretty big opportunity and could, could have potentially resulted in making a lot of money.

But I had to play it out and think about how it was going to impact my lifestyle. And You know, it just was going to take up too much time and my family and my friends and my clients are more important to me than making more money. Or it could have been that it was, it was a big opportunity, but I just, it just, I knew long term that even if it worked out exactly like these people told me it was going to, it was just going to really impact my lifestyle and I really like my life.

I really like being able to call my own shots, go for a walk when I want to go for a walk. Yeah, get with friends, go to lunch with friends, do all that, those kind of things. So, sometimes we have to say no, so we can say yes to ourselves, and sometimes we just need to slow down. Slow down and breathe. You know, with the holidays, it makes it so hard.

There’s so many parties. I was just looking at my calendar. I’m taking my granddaughter to the Nutcracker. We’re going to hear the symphony. So many things happening. I want to make sure and take her to the parade to see Santa Claus. I want to be with her during all those fun activities. But you know, even for children, it can become too much.

So sometimes we do have to just say, hey, You know, is this too much? And and so we have to say no, you know, I remember when I was younger and my children were younger and I would volunteer for all of these things and I would volunteer to be homeroom mother and cub scout leader. And I think it was tiger cub leader soccer coach.

I was a soccer coach one time. I was in junior league. Anyway, I would do all of these things, volunteer for all of these things, all at once, to only realize that I was taking so much time away from my family, that I couldn’t even be present with my family because I was volunteering helping everybody else, and not to mention not spending that time with them.

Just taking care of myself. We reach this, this time in our life in it’s different for everybody. I understand because some people have children later in life, but around our fifties, we start having more time because we’ve become empty nesters or our children have become more independent.

And so then we start filling our plate with a lot more things. Because we, we feel like, okay, it’s now it’s my turn, but again, we need to look at those things. Are they making an impact? How are they impacting our lifestyle? You know, I talk about this all the time in Revive Now and the membership about how important our mental health is to our physical health.

And sometimes when we do too much, it stresses our body. And our physical health has problems. Whether it be weight gain or not, not being able to lose the weight. Because we are so super stressed and have so much anxiety, just all of those things. So I want you to look at your calendar in the next couple of weeks and look at the things that maybe you could say no to.

Maybe they’re things that you don’t want to do. If you don’t want to do them, then I would really look at that, but maybe there are things that maybe you really kind of want to do, but there are other things that are more important to you, just like I said, just like that podcast. I really wanted to come on and I already had the topic.

I was going to talk to you guys about gratitude, which I am so grateful for each and every one of you. But I was going to talk to you about a gratitude practice. And how important that is to our mental health as well. But. I just couldn’t get it in. I just could not, well, I could have, I could have pushed myself, but why?

Why? If it’s going to affect my mental health? And because I know it’s not that important to you either. Get a podcast out every single week. What are some of the other things that you need to say no to it was funny, because when I did ask this question, somebody said, they said they need to say no to sugar.

And I think that’s kind of funny because I think maybe some of us need to say no to sugar at least no to having sugar so much and boy, it’s going to be around the holidays so much. But one of the things that is port is important to realize is that it’s not just Thanksgiving Day that we just had or Christmas Day that’s coming up or any other holiday where there’s lots of food and desserts.

And I know you’ve got parties coming up where there’s lots of food and desserts and sugar and let’s face it, there’s sugar and everything almost, it’s not just that one time. It’s the, it’s what we do consistently, right? And so if consistently we’re eating that sugar. That can be a bad thing for our physical health and even our mental health.

And I think it’s important to talk about both of those, our physical and mental health, because I think our mental health starts with our mindset. And then that follows through to our physical health, right? And so where can we cut back and where we can we say no to the sugar, you know if you’ve got.

Five parties in one week. I mean, like you can’t have sugar at every party. Well, you could, but you’re going to feel lousy. You’re going to feel bad and your genes are going to be too tight. Let’s just face it. And come January one, you’re going to be like, Oh, I’ve got to lose this weight now. And who wants to be on that, that diet rollercoaster.

I know I was on that for years. So, Instead, maybe, and I think this is I learned this when I was trying to lose some weight, I didn’t want to say no to all desserts because I just. That wasn’t going to work for me. I wasn’t, I couldn’t cut out sugar altogether. And I know some people can do that for a while.

I think I admire people. I, when somebody tells me I can’t have something, it makes me want it that much more and focus on it that much more. So one of the things I realized was when I did indulge in a dessert, usually, It’s that first bite that is the absolute best, right? The absolute best. And then the second bite’s pretty good too.

And even the third. But then there’s this diminishing return. It’s not as good as that first and second and third. So I kind of tried to start limiting myself to three bites. And this was especially when I was trying to lose weight. But even now today, if I’ve got a lot of things coming up, I’m going to be very picky on what I indulge in, because I know number one, I don’t want my pants fitting tighter.

I sure don’t need that. But I know that I won’t feel as well, and feeling well, feeling good, and having the energy to do all the things that I want to do, like take my granddaughter all these places, I can’t consume tons of sugar. Or I’m just not going to feel good. I really need to focus on eating whole foods, real foods, right?

And staying away from sugar and processed foods. There’s so much out there. That’s processed foods, and I know a lot of us are being having to just grab and go and everything else And that’s why I talk about planning ahead Planning ahead is so crucial to being able to make those good decisions where it comes to to parties and food and nourishment and movement and all the things again, we talk about all of this and revive now.

And and just so you guys know revive now enrollment is open whenever. So if you are like, I need something, some help right now, I would love for you to join in. But if you want to wait till the new year, like a lot of people will, then we are happy to have you then just know it’s It is really helpful to have accountability and support and like minded people that are going through the same thing because as much as you think You are by yourself, that you are all alone, that it’s just you, you’re not, you are not, I guarantee you, you know, you think, oh, I’m just the one who cannot control myself eating all the desserts or Or I’ve just got so many parties and the alcohol is just flowing and if I don’t have one or two drinks at every party you know, it’s going to be weird.

It’s not, but I, I can show you and tell you how it can be different and how you can still have fun. And not indulge in it all because the best thing about it is you’ll feel so much better. You’ll feel better than you will have ever felt. I wish I would have learned all of this so many years ago. I wish I would have learned how to say no so that I could say yes to everything else.

so sometimes we have to say no to sugar so that we can say yes to feeling our best. So. This is just a short little episode I wanted to do after Thanksgiving for you to be thinking about what you’re going to do for the holidays, what you’re going to do for the next few weeks, because it is a very overwhelming time of year.

You’re going to be busy, but you can say no to some things so that you can say yes. To yourself, to your family, to your friends, you know, at the end of the year in revive now, we’re going to do a digital detox and I’m working on planning it all out right now. So maybe you want to join us for that. It’s going to be.

Very interesting. I’ve never done a digital detox, and it’s going to be very interesting since my business is based digitally, so I’m having to get very creative with this. But I do think, again, for mental health. And a digital detox could look different for everybody. So I’ll keep you posted on that.

But again, if you want to join Revive Now, I’d love to have you in. We will be doing this digital detox at the end of year, probably right around Christmas. I think that’s a really good time to do it. And we’ll be meeting on a zoom call before and talking about it. And then I’ll have all the PDFs so you can print out and work through it.

So that when we are done with our digital detox, we’ll get back on another zoom and talk about how I felt. What we were able to do, how it cleared our mind, how it set us up for success for the new year. I mean, gosh, can you believe it’s gonna be 2024? It is gonna be your before you know it.

So anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Like I said, I’m going back to doing my podcast every other week and I hope to have some guests on here soon. I know it’s just been me for a while. I will work on getting some more guests, but I want to make sure that they are guests that, really resonate with what we’re doing right here at Well and Worthy Life.

So I hope you have had a great Thanksgiving, like I said, and I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you for listening. I’m so grateful for you.

About the Host

I too, struggled in my late 40s when I hit peri-menopause! I was experiencing all those not-so-fun physical changes in my body, as well as mental and emotional fatigue. What worked for me before was not working anymore. 

And the mainstream wellness advice I was following was not for women my age but for women years younger. I also realized very quickly that there is no one formula that works for all women. We are all different and need a customized approach. This aha moment was the first step to my transformation…

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