A couple of days ago I wrote An Update On My Boomerang Child And What I Learned. So today I wanted you to hear from Cole again and his point of view. It even made me laugh!
Well, I’m back again. I’m supposed to write a little update about my time as a “Boomerang Kid” over the past few months. As I said in my previous post, moving back home was not a decision I made lightly. I knew there would be some downsides to it, but I also knew there would be upsides. More than anything, I just wanted a break. I was going through somewhat of a quarter-life crisis and I just wanted a change. My mom and step-dad were gracious enough to offer me that. There were certainly times that our relationships were strained, but we worked through it by communicating with each other. I got what I needed in these few months back home and, in my opinion, things have worked out for us during my stay here. However, it seems like there are a few things that parents may not always consider in these situations, so I want to touch on those.
The first being, give it time. Don’t get impatient if it seems like they are not doing what they should be or what they said they would right away. Nagging does not help, trust me. You don’t need to treat them like a kid anymore. Times are different than when they lived with you in their teenage years. They need some time to recharge and figure out how to get from point A to point B. I had big ideas for where I wanted my life to go when I got home, but I didn’t have the road to get there fully mapped out. After experimenting with some different options, I now do have a better idea and I believe I am on a good path.
Additionally, people need space. Especially your kid who is trying to figure out his or her life. I am lucky because in my situation I do have my own space and that made this time a lot better for me. I am the type of person that spends a lot of time by themselves and that time is not always productive. My mother worries about me a lot, and I mean A LOT. It works out better when she cannot always see what I am doing. Most of the time I genuinely am working on things and trying to be productive because I want to be successful, but there are times when I am just playing video games with my friends or watching YouTube videos to have a few laughs. There is a good balance to it all and maybe they choose to do things a little differently than you. At the end of the day, it is their life, not yours. Sure, you want them to move out eventually, but you don’t want to ruin your relationship with them along the way.
Lastly, communication is a two-way street. Be open to listening just as much as you are to talking. I think this is the most important part. This arrangement would not have worked if I did not communicate well with my mom and step-dad. It is also how we have been able to diffuse situations that have looked grim. I am a very open person and have no problem speaking my mind, however, sometimes our outlooks differed. I’d like to think I opened my mom’s eyes a little with some of my explanations on why I did things the way I did. I am very different than my mom in a number of ways and it can be very hard to see eye to eye at all times, I get that, and I think she does too. We would have never gotten to that point without lengthy and open discussions though. Take some time to sit down and just listen.
My journey as a “Boomerang Kid” is coming to an end when I move out in March. I got the break that I needed, and I am ready to start back at it on my own terms. The beginning of 2019 has already been great for me. I accepted a job offer for a great company in town, I have some prospective clients for my freelance web design business, I am writing my book finally, and I have started dating again. I am already much happier with where I am at as a person than I was back in Kansas last year. I am so grateful to my mom and step-dad for giving me the opportunity to do something like this. I have learned a lot about myself, where I want to be, and how to get there. I am ready to get back out there on my own, but I know they are definitely going to miss me when I move out. I mean, who else is going to take the trash out, watch their dog, have dinner ready, clean up the house, and be available for maintenance people when they come by! Honestly, I am a bit worried about them getting along without me around.
-Cole Adams
