If you don’t know, I have been divorced twice. So I can talk with some authority on the subject. If you know someone going through a divorce or recently divorced please share this information with them. There are at least 3 things I wish someone had told me after my divorce or while I was going through my divorce.
Keep Quiet
Do not bash your ex or try to explain to everyone what happened. One thing that I learned about this is the more you do this the worst it makes you look. At first, I thought I was just telling “my side” of the story but people really don’t want to hear your side they just want the dirt. The more you try to tell your version sometimes the worse it can be. Your real friends know the truth. So just do what Thumper’s mother and father told him in the Bambi movie, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin at all!”
Wait to Date
Do not start dating too soon after your divorce? What is too soon? I think it is different for everyone. It depends on how long you were married, how long your divorce took, and other factors. You need to give yourself some time to heal after a divorce.
When I got my first divorce it took 2 years to get divorced. During those 2 years, I met someone and ended up marrying him 6 months after my divorce was final. That was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I had been married for almost 19 years by the time my divorce was final. I should have spent time by myself, healing and getting to know me. After my second divorce, I found a group called DivorceCare. This group helped me so much.
Be Financially Smart
I read an article before I got divorced and it stated that women can end up falling below the poverty line after divorce. This was definitely a concern of mine when I was getting divorced. Check out this article.
I had never built my career since I had been a stay-at-home mother. Lucky for me, I had support and help from my mother until my divorce was final. And thankfully, I was fine financially after my divorce. However, I did have to change the way I was living. Especially after my second divorce.
I have a lot more to say about divorce but I will save that for another day. In the meantime, if you have any questions or comments feel free to leave them in the comments.
